The internet is for cookies

Their are only a few things that I consider myself good enough at to brag. Those things are acting, board games, and making some fine ass cookies. It's hands down one of my favorite things to bake and easily my specialty. So, here comes something that I wasn't sure was going to end up here. The one thing I'm asked to make more than any other baked good.

But seriously I will kick your ass at a game of Blurt.

That's my baby. And be careful, because I have snapped wooden spoons in half with this beast. Lets start with the first ingredient shall we. People will tell you that you aren't allowed to melt butter in the microwave. Those people are wrong. The way I look at it, if you can specifically taste the butter, then mayhaps I did more than just that wrong. Like, one time I made cupcakes with no sugar in them. Or this other time I made cupcakes and added extra sugar, to my cornea. (PAUSE! Seriously you need to click on that link. I didn't even know this was a thing and  I literally couldn't look away for 6 whole minutes, which is like and eternity on YouTube. Now back to your regularly scheduled blog post.) I find semi-sweet chocolate chips only semi-interesting and use it only as a suggestion in recipes. I usually use dark chocolate but this time I went crazy and added cinnamon chips (which I swear i had no idea was a thing.)

Bowl of goo!

 Yes, my friends, Cinnamon Oatmeal cookies taste exactly like breakfast, but in heaven. Breaven! Heckfast? Anyway, the chips are the perfect amount of cinnamon, not spicy like a red hot but still enough flavor to punch you in the mouth a little. And honestly, who doesn't want to be punched in the mouth by cookies. You've got your bowl of goo, up there, and if you truly want beautiful cookies I can not oversell a scooper. My friend was all complainy about how his cookies always look like "a five year olds art project" Well yeah it's totally going to if you don't have a tiny melon baller looking mother fucker to help you. And that's how you get this. 

little melon ball mother fuckers

So you bake them or whatever, and then this step is really important, When you think they look about 5 minutes away from being done you pull them. I know, it's going to be hard but for reals if you want them to be perfect take them out of the oven right now! 

Then you let them sit on the hot baking sheet for a good five minutes so the bottoms get nice a brown and crispy but the tops stay soft and chewy. Baking magic, my friends, and I'm that guy in the weird mask to show you all the moves. After waiting, ever so patiently, you need to take them off the hot tray, if possible onto a cooling rack. If that's not a possibility I will be happy with anything not hot, a cool plate would be just dandy. And if you do everything right you should end up with a beautiful tower that looks a little something like this. 

If yours didn't get done at exactly 8:23 you have to start over

There is it, my most requested item. I hope i still get invited to things, now that you guys have this you wont need me anymore. I am so distracted right now because I'm listening to Rent, So you guys go try this out and I'm going to jam out continuously. My favorite thing this week.